Irrevocable choices
by MinaMG
Summary: What if the playboy never changed? Even after falling in love. What are the consequences of a choice that proves irrevocable? What will happen when she can't forgive and forget? A short dark story of Kate and Elliott. No happy ending. Cheating. Read at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: In which he finds her..**

I haven't seen or heard from her in so many years and there she was on the cover of a bridal magazine. Wearing a tight black dress, leaning on a cream coloured sofa with smiling women dressed in bridal wear around her. She was smiling. That smile where her face lit up. Not at all how I remembered her. The last time I had seen her smile was months before she left me. Slowly it had faded away, and I hadn't even noticed. Her long strawberry blonde locks had been replaced by a darker shade. She was beautiful. Blonde or brunette. Plump lips, small round nose, green eyes and flawless skin. Still every bit curvaceous and sexy. Still the most gorgeous woman I had ever laid eyes on. I picked up the glossy magazine and found myself flipping through the pages to find the article about her.

"The woman behind La Belle Mariée is finally revealed. For years she has graced us with her beautiful designs and let her dresses speak the story of love and romance. Read the exclusive interview BRIDE TODAY got with this amazing woman. She talks about her passion for design and beauty as well as revealing a few personal details of her private life"

I mumbled while reading the intro to the article.

"Sir, are you buying that?"

"Yes, here you go"

I handed the salesman some cash, not taking my eyes of the pictures attached to the article. Most of which were women in wedding dresses, no doubt her designs. She was on only two of them. One where she is splayed on the floor surrounded by fabric and drawings. Her hair pulled up in a messy bun, a pen between her teeth, holding pictures in each hand. The other with a little grey french bulldog. The only man she has given her heart to, her dog Frankie read the comment below the picture.

"Sir, this is too much money"

Dismissing the man I just waved at him and walked away, still engrossed with the article.

The article didnt reveal much about her personal life. It mostly concentrated on her business, well her answers were diverted to her business. Yet she did reveal some personal details. She lived alone on Manhattan, only her and her dog Frankie. She had a few trusted friends that she spent time with. She kept in close touch with her family, mother and father. Her brother had married and had twin girls, she often travelled to visit them. She was leading a healthy life. Clean eating, running, yoga and that sort of thing. But what captured me the most was the few sentences centering our relationship. We had never been public, she didn't want to be in the spotlight of my last name so no one would know it was about me, well except for our family and closest friends, although I really didnt care. It was a shame I had been living with for years and at this point I really didn't care who knew about it. I read the paragraph over and over.

"Do I believe in love? Of course I do! I have so many people in my life that I love very much and that love me back. I also witness it every day in my life. Women and men committing to one another. Promising eachother love and devotion. To be faithful. It's beautiful. That's why I do what I do. I want to help bring forward the beauty of the vows they give one another on such an important day. But if your question was directly meant to ask me whether I believe in having a companion for myself then no. There is no soul mate for me. I don't believe in broken hearts being mended. I don't believe in broken promises being replaced by others. Once someone shatters your soul and heart it's difficult to glue it back together. Yeah I know, pretty dark for a bridal wear designer"

I could almost hear her voice. How she would have started of with a laugh. The same one that would make my heart skip a beat. And by the end of her speech she would speak in the low and sad voice she had spoken in several months before she left. I hadn't noticed that change either. It's funny how one can contemplate over things that happened years ago and remember small yet important details that were overlooked then. At a moment that these small details were important. When they should have been seen and changed.

The guilt I had been spending years trying to repress was taking over once more. I felt hollow. Empty. I gulped down the rest of my whiskey before walking over to the bar to open up another bottle. My life was a joke. I could have had it all. I could have had Kate, kids. Enjoyed the happy family life that I had been craving for so long now. The life my brother and sister had. I would often, more so the last year then ever, find myself being overtaken by jealousy for what my brother and sister had. They had families. Someone that loved them. Someone that cared for them. Someone that jumped in joy when they came home. I had nothing. I was still living alone in my penthouse. I had designer furniture, designer interior items, designer clothing, designer shoes. I had staff that left the place before I would come home. One trusted body guard that kept his distance unless something else was necessary. I didn't know his first name. I only called him Maddox. I had woman salivating at my feet, both older and younger. I would bring home a new woman every night. Fuck her brains out and send her on her merry way. I was still the number one playboy in Seattle. Always had been. Before I met Kate, and during our relationship much to my shame.

I had met Kate through Ana, my sister in law. They used to be best friends, college roommates. More like sisters. That is until I ruined everything. Even the strong bond between them. Kate left. Wanting to start over. She had to get away from everything she said. What she really meant was, she had to get away from me. Ana and Kate had stayed in touch, but the distance and everyday life proved to be too much and their every day conversation turned into once a week and then to a couple of times a month until it became a once a month occurance. And now Kate and Ana would only have short conversations during birthdays and holidays.

Ana had never, not once, blamed me although we all knew it was my fault. She saw the hell I was rotting in and wanted to help. My brother too. He never turned his back, as well as the rest of my family. They would call or come over until one day I turned my back on them. And now I would see them on the kids birthdays. Usually coming over for a few minutes. Giving the kids their presents, a kiss and a hug before turning at the entrance and walking away. I had repeated that routine for years until my family gave up. They had all begged me to move on, but how could I possibly do that without her. I sat back in my chair and picked up the magazine again. Gently stroking Kates picture.

"I miss you Katie"

Flipping through the pages I saw that Seattle was the host of this years bridal show event. La Belle Mariée was listed as one of the designer houses showing off their newest collection, Modern Bride. This meant she was coming back. She was coming back to Seattle.

"Fuck I need to get myself a front row ticket to her show"

* * *

I just cannot shake this story out of my mind so I have to write it and share with you. It will be very short, only a few chapters. Very sad and depressing so don't read it if you expect a happy ending. There will be none.

Also, these are not the same Kate and Elliott from my story Yours.

Reviews are welcome!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: In which she looks back**

"You packed the lace jumpsuit?"

I shot the question at my assistant who was seated next to me fervently tapping away on her phone. Sophie hated it when I questioned her work. She was thorough and took her job seriously. I could trust her with anything. My change in attitude was not appreciated. She kept mumbling after every stupid question I asked. Her british accent making it sound innocent, but I knew all too well that she was spewing profanities.

"Of course"

Her answer was short, as it had been since early morning.

"And the lace gown"

"Yes"

I knew Sophie was about to lose her british cool if I continued my interrogation, but I couldn't help it. Anything to take my mind away from the fact that I was on a plane back to Seattle. A place I had left years ago. Heartbroken.

"And the suit with the sequin top"

"Yes and yes to every other item you might want to ask about. You where there overseeing the packing Kate"

Sophie answered me agitated. She was annoyed by my behaviour. This is not what she is used to. Nervous Kate was someone she had never seen before. To her and the rest of my team at La Belle Mariée I was cool, calm and collected. A succesfull and determined woman. A person who's smile never faded. Someone that had strived for success and perfection, and achieving it. And now I had been reduced to the girl I was years ago. The nervous girl on the verge of tears.

I nodded at her response and continued figdeting with my fingers. My thoughts resurfacing as Sophie got out of her seat. She straightened her longsleeve black jumpsuit and pushed her short brown hair behind her ears before walking down the aisle towards the restroom.

I let out the breath I was holding. _God what is happening to me? I am fine. I am fine._ I kept chanting to myself. I remember how it had felt leaving Seattle all those years ago. I had arrived at my brothers home in LA the day after my heart and soul were shattered and stayed in bed under the covers for days. I cried all day and all night. I stopped eating. I stopped living. I was in a dark room for days. Ethan kept leaving me food on the nightstand in the morning and in the evening he would pick up the tray, the food hadn't been touched. Eventually he got tired and forced me out of bed. A girl he knew from college had been working at a bridal salon, but as she was moving they needed a replacement so I got the job.

"Katie, this will be good for you. You have to start living again. It's just a start. Maybe with time you can go back to journalism. This is just so you can get out of the apartment for a few hours every day. Okay?"

Ethan had been careful when speaking to me back then. Every word was carefully chosen. He was so good to me. I was afraid that working in a bridal salon would remind me of what I would never have, but could of if he hadn't screwed things up. Instead it brought my smile back. I enjoyed being surrounded by happy brides and beautiful dresses. The lace and the fluff made me giddy. It still did. I remember how I would stand for hours looking at the dresses, imagining other designs. After a few months I knew I would never go back to journalism. I had found my calling. I felt my lips form a smile. I remember how frightened I had felt when I first moved to New York. I had a rough start, but I learned to embrace the magic of the city quickly. The tall buildings, the never ending lights, the blunt citizens, the noise and the unpredictable life it was offering. I wanted to start somewhere fresh. A place that didn't remind me of him. A place where I hadn't brought heartbreak with me. It all started with a seamstress and me in a small store. Eventually my designs became popular within our little wedding dress community and the ball kept rolling. I had built my company, my brand from nothing. I had done it on my own. I was so proud of myself. Becoming a well known and respected designer. I had it all as they said. _Why the hell am I this nervous? So what if I see him. I have a good life now. I am fine. I'm stronger now. I can do this. This is nothing._

But this wasn't an everyday occurance. I was going back. Back to the city where I lost myself, the old Katherine Kavanagh. I haven't been here since I left years ago. My whole family lives on the west coast, but miles away from Seattle. Ethan had stayed in Los Angeles after finishing his studies and my parents moved down there shortly after the twins were born to help out.

"Kate, you okay"

Sophie asked, sliding back into her chair. Her face showed concern for me. I considered her a close friend, but had never told her about what had happened between me and Elliott. Nor did I tell her about what I left in Seattle, my best friend, my sister. I missed Ana so much. But it was too difficult to stay in touch with her. I felt like a burden. I hated how she would change her demeanor during a conversation with me. From happy to sad in seconds. It was my fault. I brought sadness into her life. She deserved a friend who could share her happiness. I still received pictures of Teddy and Phoebe. The kids had grown so much since the last time I had seen them. Three years ago when Ana and the kids had joined Christian on a business trip to New York. I was surprised to see her, but she was even more so to witness what I had accomplished on my own.

"Mhm"

I mumbled, leaning back into the chair and glancing at my watch. An hour until the plane arrives. My mind wandered off to those dark memories I had spent years trying to forget. Taking a deep breath I let them overtake me. Only this once I thought as I fought against the tears.

"He's cheating on me"

"What? Kate no. He loves you"

"He's cheating. I know it Ana"

"Oh Kate"

"I'm so stupid. Thinking I could tame him. That's impossible. God, I'm so stupid"

"No you're not. Kate please. Just talk to him. You know how the media is. If they knew about the two of you, about your engagement then they wouldn't be making up stories about him being drunk at parties and sleeping around. Thats his old life. Come on Kate. You work as a journalist yourself"

"I dont know Ana. My gut tells me theres more to those stories then rumours"

I downed the rest of my wine before setting the glass back down on the table. Tracing the rim of the glass I continued in a trembling voice

"Its been weeks since we were intimate. I havent smiled for months and he hasnt noticed. I havent been to his place for so long, I'm practically banned from entering his home. He used to come by my place, but that stopped weeks ago. It used to be an everyday thing and now, well I'm lucky if I get to see him once a week. He blames it on business"

Anas hand found it's way on top of mine. She squeezed gently.

"Katie, I'm so sorry. Maybe it's just business. He does love you. I just know it. Maybe he just needs to be reminded of how much"

Ana's eyes sparkled with mischief. In college Ana had been the innocent one, and I was the outspoken one. But all that changed after we met the Grey brothers. Ana had come out of her shell and blossomed. Christians love for Ana had made her stronger, more confident and happy. As for me, I had retreated inwards. I had lost my bubbly personality. I wasn't the vivacious, carefree, strong willed Kate anymore. I had been reduced to a mere ghost of what I had been when I started dating Elliott.

"I still have the spear key"

Ana's laugh wasn't missed by anyone at the restaurant. Quickly drying my fallen tears I continued with the meal. I was determined to show my fiancé just what he had been missing out on these past few weeks and I would do it tonight.

After lunch I had called my dad telling him I wouldn't be back to the office due to a headache. I couldn't tell him I had to prepare myself for a night of hot sex. So the next thing I know I was in my bathroom pampering myself before the big night. We hadn't been intimate for so long I had forgotten how it felt. It would be like the first time. I smiled, closing my eyes. As evening fell I made my way up the elevator to Elliott's penthouse. Letting myself in I was surprised that the foyer was dark. I stepped inside, not taking my coat off in case his house keeper was still present. It would be utterly humiliating to be caught in the sexy two piece I was wearing underneath. I made my way to the couch, taking of my heels and decided to wait for him. He would be at home soon.

Hours later I was woken by muffled voices outside the door and the lock turning. Hearing Elliott and a woman I found myself quickly darting behind the couch. Hidden away from their eyes I saw it all. The sight still made my heart break. His lips on another woman. Trailing kissed down her jaw, neck, shoulders and onto her breasts.

"Mmm you are so good"

His voice was husky. The sexy voice I thought he used only with me.

"Please you tell that to all the girls. Don't think I don't know about you screwing around. I know you had a threesome yesterday"

The woman said and pushed him away. I had been waiting for him last night. Sitting at home, looking at my phone, waiting for hours for him to call me.

"Olivia, enough! You knew what the deal was. Just sex and nothing more. I don't do love"

"You're engaged"

"Yeah but that doesn't matter. That's not important. She's not important"

My mind was focused on her and how familiar she looked that I almost missed his words. Barely keeping my anger and tears at bay I fisted my hands and tried to stay as calm as I could.

"Come on babe. I wanna hear you scream my name"

"Mmm I want you inside me. I have missed you. It's been a while since the Coping Together Gala"

The gala! He slept with her that night. The night we got engaged!

"I've missed your amazing body too. That was a good evening. You saved it for me"

My humiliation was topped. I couldn't take anymore. As soon as they got upstairs I slipped out of his place. Leaving my engagement ring on the foyer table.

The next hours were blurry. I had called Ana, only to be sent straight to voice mail. She was never good at remembering to charge her phone. I left a long message for her. Explaining eveything in detail during my drive home. The state of my mind, blurry vision due to tears and the realisation that Olivia was Christian Greys assistant was a bad combination with driving. I almost crashed. Stopping the car outside my building I willed my shaking body to get out of the car and walk upstairs. Once inside I closed the door and slid down to the floor. He is sleeping with his brothers assistant. He slept with her on the night we got engaged. He is sleeping with God knows how many more.

I had to get away. I just had to leave. I bought a one way ticket to LA and texted Ethan that I would be arriving tomorrow and would explain everything, I also wrote an email to mom and dad. Shortly, and leaving out details, I told them of what had happened and what my next move was. Leaving Seattle forever. I called Ana once more and left a final message on her voice mail, saying goodbye. Quickly packing a suitcase I changed into comfortable sweats and made my way downstairs to wait for the cab I had called.

At the airport I had kept looking at my phone. I hoped someone would call me. Stop me from doing this. I hoped he would. Knowing deep down it would never happen. He had never loved me. I had given him everything. My heart, my soul, my present and a promise of my future. He had tossed it aside as if it were nothing. My mind was made up.

Before entering the airplane I sent him a quick text.

Dear Elliott. I left the engagement ring at your place. I was there earlier this evening. Unfortunately you were to busy with company to notice me. Goodbye!

As soon as the message was sent I turned off the phone and threw it in the trash can. I knew all the important numbers by heart. And Elliotts, well his I had to forget. I was starting over.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Seattle. Please take your seats as we are preparing for landing"

* * *

 **First I want to thank all the follows, likes and reviews I got for this new story.**

 **I want to remind everyone that there will be no happy ending. The story is ment to be dark and depressive. So for those who can handle this please do continue reading. Also the story will be short. Just a few more chapters.**

 **Let me know what you think so far :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: In which the fenix rises from the ashes**

"What the hell are you doing here? Want to cause trouble?"

I couldn't escape my sisters accusatory look. I knew this would happen if I came, but I couldn't help myself. I had to come and see her. I had to see Kate. I had to rekindle our love. I knew I could do it. I will beg for her forgiveness. I will do anything to have her back.

"Elliott, say something"

My thoughts were interrupted by Christians gentle voice. With Ana he had changed. He used to be a cold, hard and dark man and she turned him into an understanding and caring man. It was remarkable. How love could change a person, make them better, give their soul peace. If only you let that person love you. I sighed and rubbed my forehead. I never gave her a chance.

"I won't cause any trouble. I'm not here to ruin her day. I just want to see her. If she won't speak to me I'll accept that"

"Yeah right"

Mia's harsh answer didn't affect me. It would have in the past, but not now. I deserved it. They had all tried so hard to get through to me for so long until I made a big mistake. Until I turned my back to them. Proving that I was worth nothing.

My mother had lost the battle against cancer. She was a fighter and had tried to the very last moment, her very last breath to win over the disease. I can still hear her voice

"This disease might have gained control over my body, but I am NOT letting it get to my soul. That's still pure and healthy"

God, I missed my mother. Her name was so fitting, Grace. She was a stunning woman, even to her last day. She was happy and peaceful. She had made me promise to do everything in my power to get back together with Kate. Mom never lost faith in our love. She said we would find our way back into eachothers lives. Maybe she was right. Maybe this was the day. Maybe mom would give me what I needed, divine intervention. Knowing deep down I wouldn't get that. Not the way I had disgraced her memory. The way I had ruined her funeral.

I had arrived late that day. The day they were burying my mother. I stumbled my way to my brother and sister, reeking of alcohol. I can still see the hurt and disappointment in their eyes. It was a time where we should have been honoring, respecting and remembering our mother. A time where I should have been someone they could lean on. I was the oldest. Instead they were practically carrying me to my car after I had thrown up at a nearby grave. In the car I had a woman waiting. Mias disapproving look and Christians eyes filled with despair were the last I had seen before I turned my back to enter the passenger side of my car. I had hit bottom.

"Mia I know you don't believe me, but I'm not here to ruin Kate's day. I just want to see her. I promise I won't cause trouble. I'll keep my distance"

Mia huffed and turned away, walking into the exhibition hall where the show would take place. Harry, Mias husband gave me an apologetic look and went after her.

"Hey, cheer up buddy"

Anas light tone turned my attention to her. She never ceased to amaze me. I gave her a small smile and followed her and Christian into the hall.

I was squirming in my seat throughout the show. Woman after woman dressed in lace, chiffon, fluffy skirts, jumpsuits, suits, satin walk down the runway. The music was soft, almost as if it was healing my broken soul. I wondered if this was chosen by Kate. Was it a sign? Was her soul in need of mending as well as mine? Could we find our way back into eachothers lives? Would she, could she forgive me? Could I ever forgive myself?

Soon the room erupted in applause and the crowd got on their feet as they cheered the woman walking out. They took one last walk down the runway before dissapearing behind the white wall. A woman with short hair and a black dress walked out from behind the wall. The crowd settled as soon as her british accent was heard over the speakers

"Ladies and gentlemen, ms Kate Kavanagh"

Behind her Kate appeared. Her hair loose in waves. Dressed in black. Tights pants showing off her long legs and curvy bottom. A simple black v-neck t shirt that clung around her chest. She was glowing. Her smile made my heart beat faster. Making her way down the runway she waved to her left and right. She was in control. Bathing in the applause, the praises that the crowd offered. Her back was straight. This was the Kate that I had met all those years ago. This was not the Kate that I remembered, the Kate that ran away from me.

As she passed our seats she winked to Ana and Mia, the girls cheers were heard throughout the room. As her eyes locked to mine, they widened. But her smile never faded. I offered her a sincere smile in return, followed by a wink. The applause seemed to fade in the background those few seconds we looked at eachother. I kept wondering if her world had stopped too. But the seconds quickly passed and she moved down the runway, her heels clicking away. Stopping at the end of the runway for the photographers she stood there letting herself be overtaken by lights and screams as they were all trying to get the perfect picture. This was the first time she had ever appeared on a show. She had just recently gone public. Never before seen in the media as the owner of La Belle Mariée. The sight in front of me was too much to handle and I sat back down on my chair. Kate Kavanagh was a fenix rising from the ashes.

"Oh Kate you were magnificent. The show was amazing. And the designs, god they were beautiful"

I could hear Anas voice over the crowd as I made my way towards them. The entire front row was invited to some celebratory drinks backstage. Before I could make it to Kate we were all interrupted by screams. The scowl on Christians face and the barely contained giggle fit from Ana proved me right in my assumptions on who that person could be. Mia. She attacked Kate and forced her into her chest. The hurricane Mia. Kate desperatly trying to pull away from her suffocating hold. Christian reached for Mias elbow and pulled her away from Kate.

"Mia, hey. I think I need a minute to catch my breath"

Kate laughed. Mia being Mia shrugged her shoulders and pulled her poor husband to her side.

"Katie, this is my husband Harry"

"Nice to meet you Harry"

Kate offered him her hand to shake and gave him a warm smile. She was happy for Mia.

"How are the kids"

Her question was directed at them all. The conversation continued on Ana and Mia rambling on about the kids latest misdemeanours, Christian and Harry jumping into the conversation with small details. Eventually Kate asked about our dad. My ears sharpened at their response. I hadn't talked to him since moms funeral. He was dissapointed, and I was embarrassed. We had learned to avoid one another. Silence was better then fighting.

"He's fine. The kids are all he has now. We sold the house. He couldn't stay there after Grace passed. He's living with us now. Sometimes staying with Mia and Harry too"

Ana answered for everyone.

"Thank you for calling mom that day. It meant a lot to her"

Christian smiled at Kate. Her smile faded and eyes filled with tears.

"I loved Grace very much. I'm so sorry for not attending the funeral"

I cringed at the thought of her being there that day. What she would have seen.

"I miss her. I would like to visit her while I'm here"

"I'll take you"

Mia offered and held Kates hand. I couldn't stay in the back anymore. I approached the group and cleared my throat. They all turned to face me. They were apprehensive, I could sense it. Their bodies tensed the moment Kate turned to face me.

"Hi Elliott"

Kate smiled my way. I offered her a smile in return.

"Kate. Congratulations. The show was wonderful"

I wanted to hug her, but knew she would most likely turn me down so I held out my hand. Without hesitation she took it.

"Thank you so much"

As soon as her hand left mine it felt empty. I felt empty. We stood in silence and looked at eachother. None of us knowing what to say next. Moments passed and only after a man bumped into me did I notice that our group had left us alone. This was my moment.

"I tried calling"

She didn't say anything. Her eyes kept scanning the crowd. Maybe this wasn't the right moment after all. Kate took a step away from me. This was definetly not the right moment. I'm such an idiot. What the fuck am I doing? This is not the proper place to have such an important conversation. You fucking idiot. I was mentally scolding myself. I just had today. I might not get the chance to see her ever again. Fuck I had promised everyone I wouldn't ruin her special day.

"I know. I heard Ethan on the phone a couple of times"

Kate answered in a whisper. I barely heard her.

"He wouldn't let me speak to you"

"He's very protective. Big brother. You know how that is"

I meekly nodded. I had no idea how that was. I was no protective big brother. Hell I wasn't much of a brother to my siblings.

"You moved"

I said quickly, diverting the conversation back to our past. I didn't want us to loose the opportunity to talk.

"I did"

"I couldn't find you"

Kate erupted in a giggle fit. Oh that sound. I had missed it so much. Wiping her eyes she answered in a playfull tone

"I thought you Greys could find the needle in a hay stack"

I had to laugh at her response.

"Yeah well, I guess I got the hint. You wanted to be left alone. I just, I really did want to come for you. I just wanted you to know that"

Awkward silence followed my honest words. I hoped she would say she wanted me to come after her. I hoped she would jump into my arms and kiss me with those rosy plump lips.

"I'm glad you never did"

Her response was harsh. What the hell was I expecting? Her jumping into my arms, kissing me with those rosy plump lips and telling me she loved me. Before I could respond we were interrupted by the british girl from the show.

"My apologies for the interruption, but Kate I need you"

"Of course Sophie. I will be there in a minute"

Turning away from us Kate locked her eyes to mine.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. Thank you for coming. And good luck with everything. Goodbye"

"Wait Kate"

Grabbing her by the elbow I halted her movements.

"Please, we need to talk"

"There's nothing to talk about"

"Please Kate. I have to talk to you. I need you to know how sorry I am. I want you.."

My rambling was interrupted

"Elliott, there is nothing to talk about. I'm fine. Really. I promise. I've moved on. I did a long time ago"

"Well I haven't"

My response was bitter. She had moved on. Of course she had. Why would she be broken about an asshole like me? She was obviously surprised by my admission.

"Elliott you have to let it go. You have to get over it. You made a choice back then that broke us apart, but it's fine. People make mistakes"

With that she pulled herself away from me and walked away.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for your response to this story. Although I loved Kate and Elliott as a couple I just had to write a cheating story, a sad story. I don't know why, but I just couldn't forget the plot that was forming in my mind. And as I just cannot bring myself to write one about Ana and Christian it had to be about Kate and Elliott.**

 **Let me know what you think about this chapter!**

 **Few more chapters before the big finish. The end might be difficult for some, I can't say too much as I don't want to reveal anything. But you have been warned that this is a very dark and depressing story.**


	4. Authors note

I was just made aware that my story resembles someone elses. I am sorry for this misunderstanding. I have never heard of the author nor read any of her stories. I have actually read very few stories on fanfiction. I would love for the guest to tell me which story mine resembles so I can read it to see if the plot is going to be the same.

Just to be clear, Elliott is not a sex addict. He is just a guy that cheated, a guy that couldn't stop having fun, someone that didn't know what he had until he lost it.

Again, please do inform me of which story mine resembles.

And thank you for all your reviews.


	5. Just a quick note

Dear readers!

First off I want to thank you all for your support. I never inteded to nor will I take down the story. It is my story to write and I will continue it. For those who think I should quit because they believe I am stealing a story are welcome to continue reading it to verify for themselves that this story is very different from the one they mentioned, but they are also welcome to stop reading it and annoying themselves further on the issue.

So to address the matter on hand. I took the time to read the mentioned story and cannot find any similarities except for two, which are the topic and the characters.

1) The topic - cheating!

Unfortunately this is a well written topic on fanfiction, as well as it is a well experienced one in the world. There are many stories about cheating, does it mean everyone stole from the same author? There are so many people in the world experiencing it, does it mean that we all have the same background/need/addiction?

2) The characters - Kate and Elliott!

The reason for my choice of characters is simple. I cannot bring myself to write a cheating story about Ana and Christian as I had intended to do initially. I am not invested in Kate and Elliotts love story as much as Ana and Christians so I could easily write about them. Bet I'm not the only one that wrote a cheating story centering around Kate and Elliott.

And as for the sexual addiction. My Elliott is not and was never intended to be a sex addict. A sex addict is someone with a compulsive need to perform sexual acts in order to gain a sort of fix, like a high from a drug. As my story continues you will clearly see that Elliott doesn't have that need. People can sleep around and have many many different partners without it being an addiction. I have encountered many that change partners constantly, that cheat and lie just because they can not because they have a need to. Elliott is a guy that enjoyed his bachelor life and couldn't settle down at the time he met Kate. He then lost her and his mother. His entire family. His behaviour only got worse. Elliott is not a sex addict. He is a lonely, pathetic guy that cannot for the life of him make a right choice.

This is as much a story about a scorn woman becoming stronger and better without a man as it is about a regretful man that cannot forgive himself for the poor choices he has made and continues down the same destructive path.

PS!

Some of you might have expected a grand finale with suicide so I am deeply sorry if I misguided you with my words. Elliott and Kate will not be dying in my story. I had no intention on writing that nor do I wish them to die.

My reason for writing the small warnings was because of people who might expect love, forgiveness, etc. Not everyone can forgive and forget, and not everyone should. Some might get sad/disappointed at the end when they realize that not all the characters will accept Elliotts apology. With that said I might have revealed a lot more then I wish, but I do trust some of you will still enjoy my story.

Again thank you so so much for your support. You are amazing!


	6. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: In which she gets closure**

"Hey Soph, someone's at the door. I gotta go. I'll be flying in tomorrow night so see you then"

"Bye love"

I hang up and put my phone down. Damn is that person persistent! Someone's about to knock down my door.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!"

As the door opened I came face to face with Elliott. He had changed so much in these years. The most obvious change was the sadness and exhaustion in his eyes.

"I'm sorry for barging in on you. I just had to talk to you"

The awkward silence was interrupted by Elliott, his voice laced with regret. I snapped out of my thoughts to answer.

"It's fine. You could have called ahead, but it's fine"

"I don't have your number"

"And how did you find out what hotel I'm staying in"

Arching my eyebrow I encouraged him to answer when he stayed silent.

"I'm a Grey"

"Mhm, well then. Come on in Mr Grey"

My sarcastic tone wasn't missed by him. I saw that smirk before he could wipe it off his face. Passing a full length mirror I took in my appearance. I had just gotten out of the shower when Sophie had called to inform me of her arrival in New York. My dark hair still wet and droplets of water falling down my chest. Dressed in nothing but a white bathrobe I felt exposed. Suddenly I was uncomfortable. I didn't want him to get the wrong impression.

"Uhm, I'll just..Excuse me for a minute. I have to put some clothes on"

Before I could make my way to my luggage to get some clothes he reached for my elbow, pulling me towards him. His free hand moved my face, cupping one cheek. I shook my head and pulled away.

"Don't"

That one word came out with a whisper, but he had heard me. He quickly pulled away his hands as if he was burned. He frowned and apologized.

"I'm just so desperate to make things right I keep making one mistake after another"

"Just don't do that again. Your touch doesn't affect me anymore, but it's innapropriate"

I could see how my words stung.

"Like a knife through my heart"

He said as if he could read my mind.

"Elliott, I don't want you to get the wrong impression. To get any hope of us reconciling"

"And just like that you twisted the knife"

With a hand over his heart he rubbed his chest as if it really hurt. His painful expression was difficult to understand. He made those mistakes years ago, was he really still hung up on them even after witnessing how well I had done for myself? Did those choices really affect him that much? So much that he was obviously in pain? Without giving him a second glance I quickly pulled out some clothes from my suitcase and darted for the bathroom. Locking the door behind me I quickly dressed. Minutes later I emerged, fully dressed in jeans and a tee. I felt better now. He was sitting on a chair waiting for me. I made my way to the small kitchen counter.

"Coffee?"

"Yes please"

Grabbing to cups and pouring coffee in them I made my way to him, placing his cup on the table in front of him before sitting down on the chair on the opposite side. Silence spread between us as we sipped our coffees. None of us talked for minutes until he sighed and opened his mouth

"I wish I had made memories with you instead of mistakes"

"You have to stop this Elliott. You're going to kill yourself if you continue down this road"

"Do you care?"

His voice held a hopeful tone. I sighed before responding.

"Of course I care! I'm not vengeful. I'm not bitter. I was for a while, but then I saw that it only hurt me more. If I let go of all the bitterness, the anger I could make a life for myself that was filled with light. So I let it go. I forgave you for your mistakes and moved on"

When he didn't respond I continued

"I forgive you for what you did. People make mistakes. I've made my fair share of them. And although I have forgiven and moved on, I will never forget. I can't trust you and thus I cannot love you"

His shoulders slumped and he looked defeated. As if he had lost a battle. He still remained silent and I took my chance to get the answers I had to questions that had remained unanswered for years.

"Do you have a problem? An addiction? Alcohol? Drugs? Sex?"

"What? NO!"

He was obviously surprised by my questions. For years I had wondered if there was anything wrong with him, that had made him do this. Now I was wondering if it might have just been me. No matter how successful I had become and how satisfied I was with my current life the insecure Kate was in the background taunting me from time to time because of the past.

"Kate I could pretend and blame this on a sickness or on someone else, but the thruth is I made those choices consciously and I cannot take them back. I just couldn't let go of the life I had been leading since college. It was too much fun. I was immature, selfish, stupid. God what a fucker I am"

"Well if the shoe fits"

My playful tone surprised him. I didn't miss his stunned expression though he tried covering it with a chuckle. I took another sip of my coffee before I spoke in a firm voice

"You're not in college anymore where this is supposedly fun. Drinking, partying, fucking around. You have to get you're head out of your ass. Stop making excuses. The things you are doing are done by choice. You said it yourself, you don't have to do them. You're bitterness of losing something that could have been is eating you up. Let it go. You are stuck in the past. You have to forgive yourself so you can move on"

"Why are you this nice and understanding after everything I have done to you, to us"

"I don't have it in me to crush someone elses soul"

I answered with a slight shrug. Snorting at my answer in contempt he replied

"You don't have to worry about that, I have no soul"

His answer annoyed me. Where the hell was the Elliott I knew all those years ago? The confident, strutting alpha male. The one with the bubbly personality? The life of the party?

"You do. It's just buried deep within you. You just have to find it. Make a way through the darkness you've let yourself be engulfed in"

I don't know why I had the need to help me through his misery. He surely didn't deserve it. Yet a part of me felt bad for him. No one should go through the heartbreak that he so apparently went through. I remembered all my lonely sleepless nights. All those times I had cried. The dark emotions that were hard to get past. I felt obligated to help him. Not because of what we had been once, but because no soul should be this distraught. He was so lost.

"You are a better person then me Kate. I don't think I could ever forgive someone if they did what I did to you"

"It's not a competition. It's not about who's the better person. It's about being the best you can be, for yourself. Not for someone else"

I got up from my chair and walked over to the kitchen counter setting down my cup. I sighed as I turned around to see his desperate eyes looking at me

"God Elliott! Was I bitter? Absolutely! Hurt? You bet your ass I was hurt! It ate me up inside how you had looked at me with such tenderness and adoration and to know that at the same time you were hiding such an ugly thruth from me. I asked myself every question I could think of. Why? How? Who? How many? When? For how long? And then the sadness turned to anger. I planned your murder countless of times. And then one day I found that the anger was slowly killing me. It was making my life miserable and I sure as hell wouldn't let it. Weeks had passed and what you did had stopped breaking my heart and soul, instead I was desperatly holding on to those horrid memories and letting myself be crushed because of them out of free will. I realized I had become my own worst enemy and I let it go. I forgave you and let the anger, the regret, the humiliation, the misery, the pain, all of it evaporate and I became my own best friend. I kept doing things that made me happy"

My hands that were waving in front of my face came down to the side of my body and I calmed down. I hadn't realised that I had been yelling at him. I took a deep breath and continued in a calmer tone

"You're still stuck, doing the same thing aren't you"

He only nodded.

The room was silent once again. I sat back down on the chair and looked straight at him.

"I heard about your mothers funeral"

His eyes widened before he looked away. Shame evident on his face. He didn't try to hide it. Instead he got up and ran to the bathroom. I could hear him throwing up. When he came back out again I gave him a glass of water.

"Thank you"

He avoided eye contact as he took a sip of water and sat the glass down on the table.

"I don't know what happened that day. I was at home when Christian called, telling me she had died. The pain was unbearable. I went out to the nearest bar and drank. I had so much to drink I forgot who I was. Maddox found me and brought me back home. For days I was miserable. On the day of her funeral I had desperatly tried to get in touch with Mia and Christian, but to no avail. They had been busy taking care of dad and all the funeral arrangements. I had done nothing. Not one fucking thing!"

His rubbed his hands and took a deep breath

"I wanted to call you. I could have easily found your number, but I didn't. The moment I thought of you I remembered all the things I had done and it just got worst. The emotions were to difficult to handle so I drank. I was already pretty drunk before entering a bar and I drank and drank. I don't remember much but I had apparently talked a lot to the bartender about my mother and mentioned that it was her funeral. That I wanted to go and say goodbye so she offered to drive me as her shift was ending. You know the rest"

"Did you sleep with her? The bartender"

"No. She offered but I turned her down"

My surprised face must have hurt him as his reply was instant

"It's not like I fucked every girl that offered herself to me. I did choose"

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't know you had any class"

My bitter tone made me regret I opened up my mouth. Here I was preaching about letting it all go and the mentioning of other women made me cringe and turn into the bitter bitch I once was. I took a deep breath and exhaled. It's not like I love him and want him back.

"I guess I did deserve that. I deserve everything that's happening to me. Losing you, losing my family. It's all my fault"

"They will forgive you. Just talk to them"

When he didn't answer me I kept pushing further.

"Elliott you have to talk to them. Promise me you will talk to them"

"I promise"

I looked out the window. It was already evening. Elliott turned his head in the direction I was looking at. Sensing the conversation was over he got up

"Thank you Kate. I just have to say one last thing before I leave. I really have missed you. I am so sorry for not loving you, respecting you, adoring you the way you deserved all those years ago. I'm so deeply sorry that I never paid attention to the things that made you special when we were together. Your intelligence, humour, your smile and laughter, your playfulness, the way you could carry on a conversation for hours. Those things that I had considered insignificant, but I cannot seem to forget now. I had never, not once in all the time we were together acknowledged the sides of you that made you unique. The qualities that no other woman will ever possess. I love you Katherine Kavanagh. I always will"

His voice was laced with yearning as he professed his love for me. Tears were threatening to spill. He said all the things I had wanted him to say, everything I had ever needed to hear. It was just too late. As he passed me and opened the door I turned to him

"Hey Elliott"

He stopped and turned to face me, giving me a small smile. There was no hope in his eyes. I knew then that he hadn't misunderstood my tearful eyes.

"Make sure you love and respect the next girl that comes along more than me. You never know, she might be the one"

"Oh Katie, you just don't get it. You were the one, you still are and always will be"

He turned to leave when I once again stopped him

"Promise me one last thing"

He nodded amused

"Be a good boy"

He chuckled at my words and nodded

"For you, I will. I promise"

And just like that he was gone and I was done.

* * *

 **Once again your immense support amazes me. Thank you so much! You are the best.**

 **Let me know what you think of this chapter.**


	7. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: In which he tries**

For a minute Ana just looks at me. Her mouth has opened and closed several times, but she is too shocked to say anything. Seeing as she won't speak first I clear my throat to bring her out of her shocked state and say

"Hello, Ana"

"Elliott, hi. I'm sorry. It's just.. You're here...And"

Before she can say anything else she is interrupted

"Elliott"

I look behind Ana and see Christian approaching the door. He is actually smiling. I give him a sincere smile back. He looks to Ana confused before looking back at me, smirking

"It's not anyones birthday is it"

I have to chuckle at this. I never thought Christian would end up being the funny guy in the family

"Christian!"

Ana looks at him in horror.

"It's allright Ana. Since when are you the funny guy?"

"The spot opened up since you took my place as double d, dark and depressed"

"Christian!"

He is once again scolded by Ana, only this time he receives a slap on the chest too. Laughing back at her he kisses the top of her head and pulls her to his side to open the door wider.

"Come on in Elliott"

He and Ana turn away from the door and walk hand in hand into the living area. I walk in and close the door behind me. Letting out a breath I follow them. _Stay calm! Stay calm! Breath! Breath!_ I chant to myself as I approach them. It went allright with Mia and Harry, this might turn out to be a good talk too.

"So Elliott, what brings you to our door step?"

"Uhm, I'm here to talk to you"

"I'll give you some privacy"

Ana smiles and starts walking away sensing this is between brothers. But I want her here for the talk. I hurt her almost as much as I hurt Kate, she has lost a lot because of me. I need her to stay and hear me out.

"No, please stay. I have to speak to the both of you"

My voice trembles a bit. I'm so nervous I'm shaking slightly. Trying to steady my beating heart I take a deep breath and exhale. _It doesn't matter if they don't forgive you, I am doing this so I can move on, so I can get closure._ No matter how many times I say that to myself I know it's not true. I am craving that forgiveness. I need it so I can continue my life in a better path.

"Elliott?"

Ana's voice brings me back to the present. Looking at them again I see they are both worried.

"I..um..I saw Kate"

I don't get a response. They just stand there, a few feet away from me, wide eyed.

"We talked"

"How did the talk go?"

Christian stutters a bit as he asks. He takes a seat on the sofa and motions for me to take a seat on the opposite side of the coffee table. Before I can speak Ana interrupts me. I can sense her nervousness and hesitation to be a part of this conversation. I know she is worried that Kate took me back, she doesn't want that. I know it.

"Do you guys want some coffee? Or tea maybe?"

"Coffee please. Thank you Ana"

Christian shakes his head and smiles. As soon as Ana is out the door Christians eyes are on me again. He raises his eyebrow telling me to answer his question.

"The talk went well. She forgave me. I can't believe it myself"

"So you and Kate are what now"

Christian is apprehensive as he asks me. Watching me carefully. I look away, can't meet his eyes. It's uncomfortable. Him looking at me like that, as if he can see right into my dark soul.

"Nothing, we are nothing. It's over. She has moved on. I'm still working on accepting that"

"So no more Kate and Elliott?"

I shake my head no.

"Never?"

It's too difficult to confirm out loud so I just nod, answering his question. _No more Kate and Elliott. Never again._ A shaking voice interrupts us both. Ana is standing in the doorway with two cups in her hands. Once again I shake my head.

"So yesterday was what"

Ana asks me, watching my every move. I rub my hands together and sigh. This conversation is a lot harder then the one I had with Mia, she wasn't pressing for details. These two on the other hand will want to know everything.

"It was closure"

I say before I quickly add

"For her"

"For her?"

Christian asks and my eyes move back to his. This time I don't look away. I need him to see me now.

"Yes, I hope to find mine here"

Christian looks at me as Ana approaches slowly and hands me a cup of coffee.

"Thank you Ana"

She smiles in return and sits next to Christian.

"You're very nervous Elliott"

"Guess I am Christian. This is a hard talk. I'm not the same guy I used to be"

"I miss that guy"

I look to him in surprise. _He misses the asshole?_ Christian senses my confusion and adds

"I miss the confident, funny guy. Not the fucker"

"Christian!"

Once again Ana slaps her hand lightly on his chest

"I'm so sorry Elliott. Christian, please behave and mind your words"

I have to laugh at this. The big bad CEO being scolded by his wife. After a few sips of coffee the silence has stretched enough

"I talked to Mia this morning. I went to see her and Harry"

"It went well?"

"Yeah, considering the circumstances it did"

"Good"

I continue sipping on the coffee. The silence is hanging over us once again. I set the cup on the table and get up. Walking over to their floor to ceiling window I gaze out on the beautiful view. I have been in theire home countless of times since they bought it, but have never not once stopped to appreciate the view. The deep blue water below their home is calming. I can imagine the sunrise being a magnificent view. A hand on my shoulder interrupts my thoughts. I don't turn but speak as calmly as I can.

"Everything in life is about choices, good or bad. I have made some good, but too many bad. And I have to live with them for the rest of my life. I will not force the concequences of my bad choices on you any more. I am only here to ask for your forgiveness if you can give me that, if not I fully understand. I have done unforgivable things and caused you too much pain"

"Elliott"

I don't let Christian speak. I have to say my piece and let them both decide whether to forgive me or not.

"I know that every sorrow I have forced on you both through the wrongs I've done isn't easily forgotten. I do know that you can't forgive and forget just by me saying I'm sorry. I know that your love and forgiveness is earned. I have to deserve it. But if you give me a chance I will earn it back. I will make myself worthy of it"

As I say my last words I turn to look at Ana and Christian. Tears in my eyes threatening to explode from my eyes. I hold them back as hard as I can, I don't want to affect them any further.

"I never gave up on you Elliott, I never would have. You were there for me too through my dark time. This does not mean I forgive you for everything, I need time. But I am willing to give you the chance, the time to make it up to me and my family"

Christian answers, his hand still resting on my shoulder. His eyes glossy as well. Ana has tears running down her cheek.

"I am so sorry Ana. I have hurt you so much. You have been nothing but amazing to me since the first day I met you and I have ruined what could potentially have been a wonderful relationship, a brother and sister type of relationship between us. You have so little family, and I drove away the one person you had to lean on"

I can't say anymore as Ana envelopes me in a tight hug. She is sobbing on my shoulders and I hold her.

"I am so sorry"

I whisper to her as I hold her. Eventually her cries subside and she turns away from me and into Christian. He gently strokes her hair and kisses her forehead. When she stops crying and dries her cheeks she turns to me.

"I can't forgive you Elliott, not yet. I need to think about this. But you are welcome in our home and in our lives. Please don't turn away from your family"

"I won't. Never again. I continued down the road of selfdestruction because I couldn't let go of the past, I couldn't forgive myself. I held on to something that destroyed me little by little because I was afraid that if I let go of that pain then I would be nothing. I still haven't forgiven myself for what I have done in the past, I probably never will. But I realize I have to be a better man. For myself. For my family. For Kate. To honour mom"

"Have you spoken to dad"

"No Christian, he is the last one. I needed to talk to you and Mia first. I am building up courage to speak to him"

"No time like the present. He is in the library upstairs"

Looking at the doorway I see the steps. I nod to Christian and Ana before making my way into the hallway. The steps upstairs seem to go forever, but it only took me seconds. Once outside the library door I feel like I'm suffocating. I have to do this. I take a deep breath and knock.

* * *

 **So we are coming close to the end of the story. I still haven't decided whether the next chapter will be divided in two or remain as one.**

 **Let me know what you think of this chapter, and the story overall?**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who follows and reviews. It really means a lot.**

 **And I'm sorry for updating so slow, but I am a mommy and work fulltime so some days just fly by :)**


	8. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6. In which he closes a door**

Christian and Ana's study is indeed a library. The room is enormous and houses two long tables with 8 chairs by every table in the middle and three lounge areas with two armchairs and a small coffee table in each area. The floor to ceiling window stretches through the room and provides enough light to make it comfortable and serene. It's a calming room. I understand why they all seek comfort in this room. Rest of the walls are covered with bookshelves. First editions, childrens books, pregnancy books, business related, everything is in here. Anything you would want to find in a public library.

I walk up to the lounge area on the far end of the room. Dad is lying comfortable in the armchair, his arms outstreched on each side of the armchair and a book resting on his chest. His breathing is even, eyes closed and he is snoring. Instead of interrupting him I sit down on the chair opposite him and watch him sleep. I know he hasn't slept well since mom died. Mia told me he still calls her at night, crying. The loss tore him apart. Seeing mom fighting for her life, only to lose the battle was a nightmare for dad. And to have his own son stomp on his beloved wife's memory like I did must have been heartbreaking. I cannot comprehend how much pain I have caused my father. My eyes drift to the water below the house once again. I find peace in the view. Just looking at the water as it flows by. The deep colour changing with every movement, yet it seems to be standing still. I don't think I have courage to do this now. Before I can stand and walk away a little light finds it's way through the clouds outside. A ray of sunshine caressing my fathers face and bringing him out of his sleep. _Thanks mom. Talk about divine intervention._

"Elliott"

My father says. His voice still groggy from sleep, but not hiding his surprise. He clears his throath and sits up. Closing the book and putting it down on the coffee table between us.

"Hi dad"

He just nods in response. I don't know how to start the conversation so I look away and focus on the many books I know Ana has bought.

"Why are you here Elliott"

"I need to speak to you"

"So talk"

"I don't know where to start, how to start. I am so ashamed"

"You should be"

His voice is harsh, but I don't blame him. He is right. I should be ashamed, and I am. I have ruined too many lives. Desecrated my mother's memory.

"I am dad. I am very ashamed. I am so sorry. For everything. I know it's not enough. I know that you can't forget what I have done. I just hope that someday we can move on from this and be a part of eachothers lives again"

He doesn't say anything. For a long time there is only silence. I can hear the doors opening and closing around the house. For a long time he just sits there, looking out the window as I do. I know he is seeking comfort in the nature outside. We are alike that way. I always loved the ocean, the forest. The nature, it's purity and simplicity. How everything stops and freezes over during winter. How the snow falls and covers everything, as if turning to a new page in a book that still hasn't been filled with any words. And when spring comes everything strives to come forward, to bring forward a new start. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding as I see my dad moving. He hasn't moved, not even blinked for minutes.

"You're mother was my life. She was my everything and the way you treated her until her last breath is..."

He chokes up and let's the tears flow down his cheek.

"I cannot forgive you. I am so sorry Elliott, but I can't find it in my heart to do that. I know your mother would want that. For us to start over, but I just can't. I am so sorry. You and I are done. There is too much bad history for us to move forward. Too much pain for me to simply forgive"

I can't answer that. I knew deep down that he wouldn't be able to forgive me. I tore the family apart. I only nod in response. He turns away from me. Not wanting to look at me. I stand up and walk away from him. Before I walk out the door I look behind at my father. He is facing the window. His eyes closed. His face turned to the little ray of sunlight coming through the clouds. This is the end. The end of my father and me.

I watch Christian with Teddy on the swing. They are both laughing freely. Ana holding a smiling Phoebe as Gail is singing a song to the little girl. There is so much love and beauty in that sight. Something I know I will never be able to have. My eyes move away from them and up to the sky. There is still some light coming through the clouds. _Please forgive me mom._ I have never felt so out of place as I do in this very moment. There is so much love and happiness around me, but none of it for me. Everyone has their own family and I gave up that right a long time ago. I can pretend as much as I want that I belong with them, that I am a part of their family but I have ruined that a long time ago. And even if they do forgive me some day I have still made irrevocable choices that will never be forgotten.

I turn back to the house only to see dad walk out. For seconds our eyes lock, but he turns away. _He will never forgive me. I know that. I have to accept it and make peace with it._

"Elliott"

Ana is slowly walking up to me, a small smile on her face.

"Ana, hi"

"How did it go"

"As expected. He cannot forgive me"

"Maybe in time.."

I don't let her finish before interrupting

"No, he won't. I know that much. I know him well. I have lost my father Ana, and I will have to make accept that loss and mourn it"

"You have us"

"You have your family Ana. I'm not turning my back on you, never again. But you have your own family. It's you and Christian and the kids"

She only nods in response as we both look over at Christian and dad talking and smiling. I am once again reminded that I will never have that again.

"No one should be alone Elliott"

"I am fine Ana, I chose to be alone. Kate was the one and I can't have her. I won't have anyone else"

"Maybe someday Elliott, when you meet someone"

"No, I'm done. With women, drinking. All of it. I know it will take some time for you all to believe me, but I am changing. My life is dedicated to my business, to your families. To make it up to you. To make some good memories"

"I'm sorry Elliott. For everything you have lost. Everything you had and everything you could have had"

"Don't be Ana. Please. You shouldn't be. My mistake made this life for me. I was just a coward to not have accepted it before, but I do now"

I took her hand and squeezed it.

"Thank you for your kidness"

And walked away. I walked to the edge of their garden and looked out. The day was slowly ending. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, I was glad I had listened to Kate. To come and seek forgiveness from my family. Although I hadn't gotten it fully I felt I was on the right track for the first time in a long time. Looking back at my dad I feel hollow. I will miss him. Our conversations. Spending time with him. I will miss him so. The loneliness inside me stretching in my beating heart.

 **"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved."**  
 **― Mother Teresa**

* * *

 **Thank you for reading and supporting this story! This is the end. I couldn't wait to publish this chapter. I hope you liked it. No big drama, just a lot of emotions. As I warned you in the beginning, the darkness of the story and sadness is that his father and himself lost eachother. That he lost his family, that he lost everything he had with Kate.**


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